


Miscarriage on Ice

by Julia_Ai_Jamieson



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, trying to get pregnant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 03:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11683299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Ai_Jamieson/pseuds/Julia_Ai_Jamieson
Summary: Sometimes having a baby isn't quite as easy as movies and books make it out to be.





	Miscarriage on Ice

Yuuri beamed when he saw the result of the pregnancy test. Two lines; he was having a baby! Once he and Viktor found out that he was a carrier, they started trying for a baby, and now, finally, it’s all paid off! After wrapping the test in toilet paper and disposing of it, Yuuri went straight to Viktor to tell him the news. “Hey, Vitya, I’ve got some great news!” he said eagerly.  
“What is it, krasivaya?” Viktor responded, smiling at his husband’s excitement. Yuuri guided Viktor’s hand to his tummy.  
“We’re having a baby.” Viktor’s lips formed a heart-shaped grin at the news.  
“Ty ser’yezno!? Ya tak schastliv! Ya lyublyu tebya tak sil’no!” Viktor exclaimed, pulling Yuuri into a tight embrace. Although Yuuri couldn’t understand Russian perfectly, he just knew that his husband was so, so happy.   
“So, how do you think we should get the news out to everyone else?” Yuuri asked after Viktor finished talking to the embryo in his belly about how much he loved them.  
“Hm…I’ve got it! But first, let’s go to the store! We’ve got some clothes to buy!” Viktor started walking/dragging him out the door to the apartment.  
“Hey, c’mon! I may be pregnant but I’m not putting on weight yet!” Viktor giggled.  
“Not for you, krasivaya! For akachan!”   
“Viktor, we don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl yet.”  
“We will one day; we’ve gotta prepare, and besides, what better way to tell everyone these days than by posting pictures of baby clothes on instagram!”   
“How about instead we just get a teddy bear or something?”  
“Oh, alright. We’ll stick with the teddy bear for now then.”  
Yuuri and Viktor ended up finding a teddy bear that had a t-shirt with an ice skate and snow flakes on it. They agreed that that would be perfect. While they were at it, they also got a few pacifiers to make it more clear to the people online who they were buying this for. Viktor took a picture of Yuuri with the toy and baby supply and then posted it on Instagram with the caption “Houston, we have a baby!” Excitedly, fans immediately started congratulating them and thinking of potential names.  
Although being pregnant was an exciting turn of events for Yuuri, he had other things on his mind at the moment. He would soon be competing again. He obviously hadn’t counted on getting pregnant so early on, but he figured that since figure skating was such a low-impact activity it shouldn’t do any damage to the baby. So, despite Viktor’s protests, Yuuri decided to proceed with competing. “Don’t worry.” The pregnant male consoled. “If anything happens there are already medical personnel on standby in case of accidents; they’ll keep me and akachan safe, okay?” Viktor sighed.  
“Okay, just take it easy. Don’t push yourself as hard as you normally would.” Yuuri nodded. “Promise?”  
“Promise.” It turns out that getting Yuuri to take it easy was much easier said than done. The male constantly pushed the boundaries, often taking his routine to the limits, occasionally having to rush to the nearest trash can to vomit; these incidents served as a reminder that he was still carrying precious cargo and had to be careful. By the time the competition date rolled around, Yuuri was having trouble deciding whether or not he should really go through with it. In the end, he decided that he may as well, but he would not continue any farther than this one.   
Just before going up, Yuuri couldn’t help but notice that he was cramping up a bit. Viktor noticed that he was in pain and voiced his concern. “If you’re not feeling well you shouldn’t compete.” He said.  
“No, I’m fine. It’s just a little cramp; it happens sometimes.”  
“But you won’t compete anymore while you’re still pregnant?”  
“I won’t; I promise.” Yuuri finished up stretching as he found out that he would be up soon.  
After stepping onto the ice, Yuuri cleared his head of any worry he had. He began his program; he was playing the role of an angel who was sent to protect a young child on earth. His outfit was pure white and beautiful. He took on a peaceful smile as he went through the elegant program. Suddenly, he began to feel a fluid soaking into his thighs. ‘What is that…?’ He couldn’t help but think. ‘Is that sweat? It’s so warm…Oh, god, am I peeing on the ice right now!?’  
“YUURI!!! YUURI!!!!” He heard people screaming his name in…fear? Yuuri froze, wondering what could be happening. The paramedics were running toward the ice, where his husband was screaming at him to get off. He finally got a clearer assessment of what was happening. All at once he realized it wasn’t sweat or pee. No. It was too thick…  
Yuuri frantically skated toward the paramedics, no longer caring about anything other than the safety of his baby. Upon reaching them, he was rushed to the hospital. Once there, he was put under anesthesia so the doctors could do their work.

When Yuuri woke up, his mind was in a fog and he was quite disoriented. He noticed an IV in his arm and, at first, he was confused. Then, he remembered. His hand moved to his belly, praying that there was still a baby there, somehow, the doctors just found some way to save that tiny life he’d loved so dearly.  
Yuuri looked over and noticed his husband sleeping in the bed beside his. He smiled lightly, wondering how much of a show Viktor put on to get that sort of privilege. On his other side, he found a window along with about a dozen bouquets of flowers. He sat up, noting the pain in his abdomen as he did so, when he noticed a few cards. He picked one up and began to read.  
Hey, piggy.  
I know we haven’t always been on the best terms, but I’m really sorry. I know you and Viktor were really looking foreword to “akachan.” Just don’t scare us like that again, got it? I was honestly worried about you, y’know. Take a hint from “akachan” and ease up on yourself.  
-Yuri   
Yuuri,  
No words can possibly express how sorry I am for your loss. I hope you heal quickly and that akachan can become your and Viktor’s guardian angel. I know you guys would’ve been the best parents to him or her. Just stay safe from now on, and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on (other than Viktor’s, obviously) just hit me up and I’ll be there in no time at all.  
With plenty of love,  
Phichit.  
Yuuri curled into a ball before he could read anymore cards. He just couldn’t stand it. He felt so empty. All he could do was weep. Yuuri felt a hand gently press into his back, rubbing soothing circles. He looked up tearfully and saw his husband. “I-I…” Yuuri choked out. “’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Vitya.” Viktor pulled Yuuri into a warm embrace, allowing him to cry on his shoulder.  
“You don’t have to be sorry, lyubov moya.” Tears soaked into Viktor’s shoulder as he murmured sweet Russian nothings to his formerly pregnant husband.

It’s been a few months now since the miscarriage. Although Yuuri seemed to have improved since his hospital stay, he was still afraid to try again. Whenever Viktor tried to bring the idea up to him, Yuuri appeared hesitant, even when Viktor assured him that it wasn’t his fault. One night, the two husbands lay in bed together. “Yuuri, would you like to try again?” Viktor asked gently.  
“Mmm…” Yuuri hummed. “I-I’m not sure…”  
“It wasn’t your fault. The miscarriage, I mean. You didn’t intend for it to happen the way that it did.” Tears began to stream from Yuuri’s eyes. “Yuuri? Yuuri, what’s wrong?”  
“I-I just…you keep telling me it isn’t my fault, but…but…it just feels like it is. If I'd just listened to you and left the competition while akachan was still here, maybe I wouldn't have killed them. Vitya…I can’t even look at the baby’s room. I feel like if it wasn’t for me being stupid and wanting to compete even though I was pregnant akachan would still be here. I just…I’m sorry. I should’ve listened when you told me not to compete while pregnant.” Viktor held the sobbing carrier close, kissing his head.  
“It isn’t your fault. You didn’t think there was anything wrong. You just didn’t know; you can’t be blamed for something you didn’t realize would happen.” Viktor continued to rub Yuuri’s back until his sobs gradually slowed to a stop. “Do you think it would help if I try not to bring it up anymore?” Yuuri looked into Viktor’s eyes, his own shining with tears and pain. Viktor knew the answer before his husband said anything. “It’s okay, take your time. Whenever you’re ready, you can be the one to bring it up.”

4 years later, Yuuri and Viktor brought home their newborn daughter, Lyubov Hanako Katsuki-Nikiforov.


End file.
